Stupid cancer. We all want a new car, a new phone. A person who has cancer only wants one thing... to survive. I know that a lot of you "who think you're too cool" probably won't reblog this. Very little amount of my friends will. Put this on your blog in honor of someone who died of cancer, survived, or who is fighting against it now.
when a doctor slowly unveils the face of a victim to that victim’s family for the first time? Immediately after, family members drop to their knees and their tears fall endlessly.
That’s how I feel right now after seeing the funeral pictures. It’s really starting to hit me that I won’t be able to see her anymore. I’m slowly realizing that this isn’t just some deep slumber. One that I believed she’d wake up from eventually so that I could talk to her again. Hug her and tell her about my life. Even so, I still imagine her waiting for me for the next time I come visit.
And just the thought of reality makes me burst into tears. I feel like I’ve cried myself to sleep every night, but I can’t control them. And it’s unbearable during the day, because I have no where to go in this new home, no one to go to. Instead, I just try my hardest to conceal everything - but it’s so fucking hard.
We may not talk to them everyday, but they understand us more than anyone in the world. You know they’ll always be there for you in your time of need when none of your other friends will. To that friend, I just wanna say I love you and thank you for always being a true friend.
This early morning, my aunt passed away. Those who know me well already knew that I was struggling with my aunt’s sickness, despite how hard I tried to hide my emotions and fears. For those who don’t -
My aunt was diagnosed with cancer last April. However, just last month, everything went downhill. As a side effect of her extensive chemotherapy treatments, her myocardium was intensely weakened. In other words, her heart was failing. At one point, the doctors said she had two more years to live. The next day, they said six months. Then two weeks. Finally it got to the point where no one even knew if she’d make it through the night. In a way, I guess this helped prepare ourselves. But death is death, and really, nothing can prepare you for that.
So for those wondering why I said I’d be spending my birthday alone, it’s because my mom flew out to Belgium from China as soon as she got the news that my aunt was suffering from heart problems.
She knew this was it.
I was left in China because my Aunt thought it would be too hard and too stressful to say goodbye in person - in fact, my aunt didn’t even want my mom to visit her either. But my mom’s love for her sister couldn’t keep her away.
Thanks to Skype, I was able to talk to my aunt and just by looking at her, you could tell her days were limited. But I kept the faith. I’ll always remember the last thing she said to me - She made me promise her a trip to Shanghai, just me and her.
Maybe it’s because I was the only optimistic person within my family - but I believed that promise. I beleived that she was going to get better. That she’d get over this, and return like nothing ever happened. That she’d meet the boyfriend she always envisioned I would have, and that she’d be there at my wedding nodding with approval. I believed in hundreds of family gatherings in the future, where she’d meet my own children. I basically believed that a miracle would happen.
My aunt was the second parent I never had. Despite the hundreds of miles that physically separates us, I’m much closer to her than I am with my dad. Throughout my life, she’s taken me all over the world, and has taught me so much about life. She’s touched my heart in ways that words can’t even describe. So much of what I have accomplished, I owe to her.
Thanks for always supporting my dreams, for always believing that I would succeed. For encouraging me, for loving me, for blessing me with so much happiness. It still hasn’t hit me that I won’t be able to see you again, but I know you’ll always be watching over me and our family. You’ll always be my role model.
You’re one of the most loyal people I know and you always look for the good in everyone, even if they have hurt you in the past. Whenever I’m being my judgmental self, you always making me think about things from the other perspective, whether it’s intentional or not,…
Don’t forget to thank them for accompanying you at the shopping mall. Don’t forget to thank them for buying you that new outfit. Don’t forget to thank them for taking you out for a nice meal. Don’t forget to thank them for cooking your meal. Don’t forget to thank them for attending your soccer game, your school’s performance, or your award’s ceremony. Don’t forget to thank them for providing you a house to live in, a car to drive, a school to attend, or a future to look forward to.
And DEFINITELY don’t forget to thank them for being healthy - for being there.